Happiness at Last

***************************************************************************
Some women were born for Motherhood... and one can say the same of some Cats. I could tell that Beauty, despite her terrible ordeal in September,longed to have kittens of her own. Separated too soon from her own mother, I suspect (which was NOT my doing), she often reverts to a kitten's longing for closeness and warmth.

Now she has her own four little bundles of warmth, mewing out their need for her, cuddling up to her, demanding sustenance and comfort, which she is thrilled to provide. She goes out of her way to assume a position that will suit all of the little ones. When she leaves the kitten box, she always is alert for the smallest cry... and will race back to her babies instantly, even when she is hungry herself.

In the face of personal disapppointment today in my own life, it gave me great comfort to return home to the sight of Beauty with her four little darlings. They are endlessly amusing, even at the tender age of two days. They squabble and fight for position, despite the fact that she has plentiful milk. They roll about, losing their balance, flailing blindly for recovery, heedless of logic, turning the wrong way often, then complaining loudly when they cannot find what they seek. Their little blind wrestling matches are hilarious. While smiling at their antics, however, I am reminded of the poor little kittens in September who never were given the energy nor the basic physical maturity to survive.

There are those who believe in reincarnation, that the souls of those who die in infancy were not ready for birth, but return when they are. I would like to believe that or at least believe that some particle of the spirit of those tiny blighted beings could share in the comfort and joy of their siblings now.

Warriors in an amazing series about Cats and one of the most wonderful aspects of the books was the spiritual component. The idea that Cats had a religion and an Otherworld where the dead watched over the living, to guard and guide their Clanmates must be very attractive to any cat lover. If there is no consciousness in death, at least they are at peace, but I would like to believe that they can experience, even if vicariously, a little of the joy that life holds. All they knew was the agony...

I am fairly certain now that the fourth kitten in the new litter shares Beauty's markings and will be a lovely Flame... the other three are purest white now but I imagine that they will develop into Bluepoints like their father. It is extraordinary how much they have grown in a single day. It gives me such joy to see that their little tummies are plump always, that when they cry, it is the rather spoiled, half-hearted mew of an infant deprived of instant gratification perhaps, but nothing more serious or lasting than that.

I am so proud of Beauty. She is one of the best mothers I ever have known. The kittens are first in her eyes. Although her appetite remains huge, which delights me, she still looks to the kittens before she satisfies her own urges. May they all prosper now!

Ash still is a bit left out of the family circle, sadly. He prowls about, sitting disconsolately where he can see his little progeny but he is not involved at all in their little routines. Poor boy! He has become even more affectionate towards me than usual. I try to remember NOT to neglect him even for a moment, but I'd like to see him become close to the kittens. No doubt when their eyes open and they begin to play, he will be in seventh heaven. Still a kitten himself at heart, he loves to play.